


Must Be Something I Did

by Anonymous



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Bad guy Forest, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Gaslighting, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Shame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22154374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: While Maria helps Michael learn that some people want him around, Alex realizes Forest has his own agenda.Malex is endgame.
Relationships: Forest/Alex Manes, Maria DeLuca/Michael Guerin, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 4
Kudos: 55
Collections: Anonymous





	Must Be Something I Did

Michael tried not to watch Alex with his new guy from across the restaurant while he and Maria were waiting for the table. They were talking, heads bent toward each other. Alex smiled. Blue haired dick touched his hand. They opened the menu.

Alex said something that made him laugh, a tilt of his chin. Free, easy and lovely.

All these people around, no secrets, no hushed words, no hiding. No narrowed stares or hurt expression when this guy wants to put his hand on Alex's hand.

"I see them too. What are you thinking, Guerin, stay or go?" Maria's voice in his ear startled him out of his thoughts. He turned and forced a shrug and a smile for her.

"Just gathering wool, darling," he said easily as he could. She had her hand on her chin and a knowing look that made him wary. “I don’t mind staying if you want to stay.”

"Gathering wool watching Alex and his new guy on a date? A girl could get jealous." She paused, frowning. "What, was this your date restaurant? Did you guys both try to take your new people to your old stomping ground or something?"

At that, Michael really had to laugh. He’d had to ask Isobel about where to go, where people went with people who-- who they wanted to be seen with. "Come on, DeLuca, you think I'm the type of guy you take on dates?"

"Well, yeah being as how we’re on a date, I do."

He stared at her. She kept her smile on, something strange and gentle in it. "Ok," he finally said.

"So it's just bad luck? That we're here while they're here?"

He grinned and ducked his head, stealing another look by accident. The guy had his mouth so close to Alex’s cheek they were probably touching skin. Right out in the open, no shame. "Yeah,” Michael allowed. “Worst luck. Um. Can we--”

“Yes, let’s get out of here. Bowling?”

He stared back at her. “Bowling?” he repeated.

“No cheating,” she said back, still grinning. “Winner takes all.” Then softer. “It’s ok. You’re allowed to be sad, even if it’s over. Tough to see someone you loved moving on sometimes.”

He doesn’t tell her until later that they never dated, he and Alex. He doesn’t try to explain that he has no right to move on from something that wasn’t his.

She doesn’t make any sense sometimes, Maria doesn’t, but they go bowling like teenagers in their stupid shoes and eat greasy and hot pizza. She kisses him after she rolls her third strike, on the mouth, full on, dragging him down by the back of his neck, her fingers warm and gentle. 

"Let me take you home, cowboy," she said. He nodded. It's not Alex, nothing will be, but it feels different from anything he's ever known. Walking her to her car, arms locked together, out on the open street.

*

Back in the restaurant, Alex is trying hard to keep his smile on. 

Forest smiles at him too, sweet and a little sad. “He’s your father, Alex. I get it, believe me, my dad and I have had our issues. But he’s still my dad. He’s going to be in my life forever.”

“Look, I don’t really want to talk about this," Alex tries. He means well, Alex knows he means well, it was just how to get him to stop.

Forest's mouth is compressed for a moment. “But you should. Is this-- I know that guy Guerin got between you a lot. But you’re not stuck in that cycle with him anymore. You can make amends and go on with your life. Let me help you. I wanna help you.”

That makes Alex pause. "You think my problems with my dad are because of Michael?" He manages to get out, his voice surprisingly steady.

"He's your father," Forest continues. "Guerin is some kind of… well he latched onto you when you were a kid. People like that do. You never deserved to be treated like he treated you."

"Please stop this," Alex says, a little sharper. His hands clench around his silverware. 

"I can't stop," Forest says, "I'm trying to save you from making the biggest mistake possible. I get that your dad wasn't perfect, that he's a product of his time. But that doesn't mean you don't need to have a relationship with him."

Alex finds himself staring, stomach twisting. Should he tell Forest? About the broken plates that led to broken wrists? The screaming in the middle of the night? The forced ten mile runs in the winter? The time he almost slit his own wrists? About… about Michael? 

Forest doesn't wait to hear anything. "I'm going to help you," he says. "I called him for you."

Alex just feels numb now. "You called him for me?" he repeats blankly.

"With Guerin out of the picture, it's time you guys had a relationship again, isn't it? He's meeting us at your place right after this for drinks. How about that?"

Alex will never remember the next few hours. He must say something. He must leave and get away.

He doesn't go home, he knows that.

He knows that because he's sitting next to the airstream, on the ground, fake leg stretched out in front of him and real one pressed to his chest when Michael and Maria come back, holding hands and laughing together at something they're whispering to each other. He's glad he didn't use his spare key to let himself in. Maybe he shouldn't have it anymore.

He can tell the second they realize he's there. The laughter stops. Michael makes a little sound. Or it's Maria, maybe, a higher gasp. He's having trouble with his sounds, his situational awareness. It's too hard to concentrate on not screaming.

"Alex," Michael whispers, kneeling down at his side quickly.

"Sweetie, Alex, what happened?" And Maria is on his other side, just a respectful distance away. He could grab their hands if he wanted to, both of them are in reach.

Instead, he just shakes his head, hard and miserable. A sound escapes him, a not quite sob. 

"Please," he hears himself say. "Can I stay here? Like out on the lawnchair or in the truck bed or something? It's not. It's not cold. Can I stay here?"

Then Michael does take his hand, gentle and steady and so warm when Alex is cold through. "Yeah, sweetheart," he murmurs. "Always."

Alex waits for Maria to object, but she offers him her hand too, and together they tug him to his feet. She hugs him, careful and soft, the familiar scent of her perfume and hair product it's own comfort. "Come on, honey, you're ok. We'll take care of you."

Alex swallows his fear and lets them guide him inside. At least he knows his father will never be welcome here.


End file.
